Comedy fragment: The Widget of Maracoss

[indri]

Spike opened the door with reluctance: he knew who was on the other side. He briefly considered diving out through the window but even for him it seemed a bit melodramatic.

"Hello, Buffy," he said instead.

She looked good, in a pair of flattering black slacks and a low-cut blouse. But she was looking up at him with a too-serious expression and she clutched a little bag before her. That never boded well.

Someone else was with her, standing just out of sight, and this realisation meant that he didn't hear at first what she said.

"...important and I hope you'll both be able to work together."

The third figure then stepped into view.

"Hello, Angel," said Spike.

*

Later, Buffy sat primly on Spike's sagging sofa, explaining the sitch. Vampire-with-soul trouble, prophecy, blah-blah.

``You should just get Willow to soul a whole bunch of vamps,'' Spike said. ``Then it wouldn't always have to be one of us.''

``I don't think that would solve our problem,'' she said. ``Besides can you imagine the workload? Babysitting crazy vampires as well as those new slayers? No, I think I know how to do this. Angel, did you bring the map?''

``No,'' said Angel, who had seemed half-asleep in an armchair. ``I think it's still in the car.''

``I'll go get it,'' she said. ``You two just -- don't do anything to each other, okay?'' She stepped out of the door. The two vampires listened to her going downstairs.

``So, how'd you make it out of the alley?'' Spike said.

``Dragon,'' said Angel. ``I caught a ride and then I killed it.''

``Neat,'' said Spike.

``You?''

``Illyria. She killed loads. After a while I just let her keep at it, she seemed to be enjoying it that much. Stacked a pile of corpses up into a wall and then picked them off as they came over. They stopped coming after a while.''

``You know where she is?''

``Illyria? San Antonio. Wanted to visit her folks.''

``She has... folks?''

Spike shrugged. ``I guess. And how's Nina?''

``She's good. We're, uh, back together.''

``She's an excellent werewolf.''

``Yeah.''

There was a pause.

``I think the blouse suits her,'' Spike said. ``Buffy I mean.''

``Really? I thought it was a little low-cut.''

``Got it!'' Buffy called, brandishing the map as she returned. She looked at them sternly. ``You two weren't fighting, were you?''

``No,'' Spike said, quickly.

``No,'' Angel said, crossly.

She didn't look as if she believed them at all.

*

``So,'' she said, as they traipsed down the sewers, three abreast in a uncommonly wide tunnel, ``the Widget of Maracoss is still in the hands of the necromancer...''

``Widget?'' said Spike.

``Giles said that was the closest translation.''

``In ancient Egyptian, they have a word for widget?''

``You know, I don't think they do,'' Angel said.

``Look, I didn't have time to cross-check with Dawn.''

``And Maracoss isn't an Egyptian name.''

``It's the Thingy of Thingy, okay?'' she said, tiredly. ``It's what's going to save your asses, if you'll just stop arguing with each other for a minute.''

They walked on.

``So, where's his nibs?''

``What?''

``Not what, who.''

``What?''

``He means The Immortal,'' Angel said.

``Oh,'' she said. ``I really don't care.'' Lame know-it-all.''

Comments

[ex_peasant441]

Hee. I LOL at this, and mourn that it floats in space, incomplete, although in some ways that may make it funnier.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

It is a fun fragment.

[rainkatt.livejournal.com]

Heee!

[bungo.livejournal.com]

Made me laugh. Not that I know who any of these people are.

[evilawyer.livejournal.com]

Funny! Spike slapping Buffy down on her ancient language translation skills, and Angel throwing in his two cents on what makes sense. Arff. And, can't tell you how much "Widget" brings back memories of 1st year contract law.